A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words....

Sometimes I wish I had taken more photos before the surgery.  I was so humiliated every time I would see a photo of myself, I would either delete, destroy or crop the hell out of it before I allowed it to exist in this world.  Right before the surgery I realized I would want to have some before/after shots so I allowed a few to be taken.  The difference is amazing to me.  I don't even feel like that same person.  Check it:

Another shot of me before I left for the Hospital the morning of surgery

This was taken as I left for the hospital 01-03-2012.  I had already lost 15lbs at this point.

My Sister and I immediately following the surgery.  Look how huge and swollen my face is!

Last week during my workout.  56lbs down. 03-24-2012

Obviously I haven't lost any weight in my boobs!  JEEZ!

Not the most flattering shot of my stomach but I definitely can see a difference in my legs.
03-26-2012

Thanks for sticking with me on this crazy journey.  Much more to come!
xoxoxoxox

Smoke and Mirrors

So much to say and not much time to say it.  The past few days have been a whirlwind.  Thursday I had my follow up appointment with my surgeon.  My weight was down 8lbs from the last visit last month.  He was pleased with my overall progress and my total weight loss of close to 60lbs.  I don't have to go back now until June.    On the way back from the appointment, my Mom and I decided to stop at the mall and she probably felt sorry for me in my "clown pants" so she bought me a couple pair of jeans, several shirts and a workout outfit.  I don't know why I've been putting off buying clothes.  I guess one reason is because I didn't want to spend $60 on a pair of pants I was only going to be able to wear for a month.  Luckily, we went to Forever 21 and their prices are SO reasonable.  I will definitely be doing a lot of shopping there until I get to my maintenence weight.  My jeans are super cute and they were only $13.00!  Crazy.

My Mom was cute though because she kept bringing me things to try on that were DEFINITELY not my size.  I kept saying, "Mom, I don't take that size!" and she would say, "I think it will fit.  Just try it on.  You look so TINY now!"  Smoke and mirrors, Mom.  Smoke and mirrors.  I've gotta admit though, it's pretty cool (and very foreign) to be referred to by anyone as "tiny"!!  I do realize that this particular compliment came from my Mom, and let's face it, I am no where near tiny...but still!

Thursday night was, for lack of a better term, a cluster-fuck.  I only got about 2-3 hours of sleep for reasons not necessary to go into here, but suffice to say that I looked (and felt) like I had been run over by a semi when I came to work on Friday.  My Boss was out of town so I needed to literally "look alive" and get things done.  Thankfully, the day was productive and I was able to get through it.  We had dinner plans with close friends that evening and I wasn't about to reschedule as we had planned it over a month ago, but I was looking very forward to calling it an early night and hitting my tempurpedic pillow.  Alas, best laid plans sometimes go awry and who was I to argue when my BFF called with free box seats to the Lady Antebellum/Darius Rucker show that night in San Jose.  We had an early dinner with our friends, then Terry picked me up about 7:45 and we drove to San Jose where we enjoyed premium parking and our own luxury penthouse suite.  The concert was good and when my head finally hit the pillow at about 1:00am, I thought I had died and gone to heaven....until 8:30am came in what seemed like a milisecond and I was up again to meet Terry at the gym.  We worked out for about an hour, I came home to shower and was back out the door to head to Morgan Hill to celebrate my Niece's eleventh Birthday.  My Sister made an amazing lunch/dinner.  Parmesan chicken, pesto ravioli, salad, garlic bread, cupcakes (!)  I ate a tiny bit of everything and a super tiny bite of a cupcake.  So far I don't seem to have a problem with sugar if I only eat one bite of whatever it is.  Like one M & M, for example.  Who eats ONE M & M?!?!  ME, that's who!  And let me tell you, when you don't eat sugar anymore one M & M is quite the delicacy! 

After we left my Sister's, I was home for about 2.2 seconds before I was off again to pick up Terry and head to the Crows Nest to celebrate the Birthday of the lovely Leilani.  Our friends, the Billy Martini Band were performing that night and it's always a good time.  I saw a lot of people who I haven't seen in awhile.  It's always nice when people notice the weight loss and I really appreciated the compliments.  I was feeling good that night (in clothes that actually fit..bonus!)  Needless to say it was another late night.  It's difficult when I am at a bar or in a party atmosphere to stick to drinking water only.  I'm not a big alcohol drinker, but sometimes I just kind of want to have something else besides water.  Even juice, but I didn't dare because of the sugar content.  I can't have anything carbonated, so diet soda, or even pellegrino is out.  I got over it, but it is one thing I miss.  I slept like a baby Saturday night and didn't wake up once until about 9:30 Sunday morning. 

Yesterday, I learned some upsetting news about a friend of mine that I met at my Support Group a few months ago.  He is having some health issues and Jason, if you're reading I just want you to know that I am saying a prayer for you to have a good outcome and back to 100% soon. 

I think I need a weekend to recover from my weekend!  Oh, and I am STILL 2.8 pounds away from ONEderland.  C'mon scale...cut me a break, would ya??

Weigh to go....(before and after pics)

Last night I wrote a highly entertaining (if I do say so myself) and lengthy blog post, complete with loads of before/after pics and as luck would have it, my computer decided to freeze and shut down in the middle of it all.  Bother.  So, I am going to give this another try:

First, some news:  I let the lovely Melissa cut bangs for me.  I was resistant to bangs for the longest time because I think they make me look like I'm in 3rd grade.  After surgery, I started noticing that the skin on my face, which has always been, for lack of a better word, "plump", was suddenly quite loose.  Some mornings I would look in the mirror and think "Sweet Mother of Pearl! Where did those LINES come from??"  Especially in my forehead!!  Exhibit A:

See the wrinkles?  ACK!  I mean, c'mon!  I know I am on the eve of the "Silver Anniversary of my 21st Birthday" but this is ridiculous!  Until I work up the nerve to get some botox, wrinkles are the question and BANGS ARE THE ANSWER!!! 

In other news, I have not worn my original wedding ring for about 10 years for a multitude of reasons.  Yesterday, at work we were discussing wedding rings, so I dug mine out and was completely shocked to see that it fit.  It hasn't fit in years!  Not only that...it's actually loose.  Exhibit B:  (notice the bangs!)

I am FIVE lbs away from ONEderland.  I really want to reach this goal by next Thursday, since it's my next checkup with my Doc.  I plan to step up the workouts this week and I think I can get there.  I leave you with a VERY embarrassing and scary BEFORE pic (this is big for me to even post this now...because I am absolutely mortified that I ever allowed myself to look like this)   Exhibit C & D:

And, here is the most recent full length pic of me taken this week.  55lbs down.  When I look at the difference in pics, I can't even believe I am that same person.  What an amazing ride this is.  I am so grateful that I have been given this opportunity.  Exhibit E:

Adding Excercise...

If you know me at all, you know I am not a fan of "excercise".  Generally, I only run if I am being chased and even then it's more like a fast skip-hop.  I joined the gym in October and in the beginning I tried to go fairly regularly but at that point, I still had what amounted to a 54lb of concrete still on my back, (and hips, thighs, legs, an abdomen) so working out was not as easy as one might think.  I mainly stuck to aqua aerobics and I actually enjoyed it until the weather got too cold.  Then, my surgery happened and I was so focused on trying to get the food part down, I didn't get serious about the working out portion until recently.

When I first signed up at the gym they gave me two complimentary personal training appointments.  I liked the trainer fine and he showed me how to use all the equipment and then basically I was on my own.  I didn't see the value in Personal Training at that time since it is quite expensive and it seemed like something I could do on my own.

I had been planning to start getting serious about the gym once Daylight Savings started.  About 10 days ago I got a phone call from a trainer named Sean.  He said he hadn't seen me at the gym for awhile and would I like to come in for two more complimentary training sessions.  I decided to stop making excuses and do it.  I am so glad I did.  Since that time, I have had three sessions and I have another scheduled for tomorrow night.  I absolutely love it!  <---  Someone better check my temperature because I would rather hang upside down by my toenails than ever actually look forward to working out!  Sean is fantastic.  He knows how to push me in just the right way.  I went today at Noon and it was the best workout yet.  We go for a solid hour and it is difficult for me but I feel like I really accomplished something when I am done.  If I can do this, anyone can!  I definitely see the value in Personal Training now.  It's very expensive but I am going to try to see if I can get Terry to join me for some Buddy Training.  We both get an hour that is specifically designed for our individual fitness levels and we get $30 each off per session.  If not, I am going to have to sell a LOT of freaking insurance to pay for this, but I am looking at it like I can't afford NOT to do it.  You know?  I am not drinking a $4.00 latte and eating a $3.00 bagel every day anymore.  I am not eating out to lunch very often.  I owe this to me.

I have lost 54lbs now.  I am 6.4 lbs away from my next goal.  I am 66lbs away from my ultimate goal.  My BMI is down more than 10 points and I am feeling good.  Now, who wants to take a water zumba class with me on Thursday nights?

2 month update: Jan 3- March 3. Holding steady

Terry reminded me last night that it was exactly 2 months ago that I had my surgery.  It seems like a lifetime ago. Since I hit the 50lb lost milestone last week I seem to have hit a plateau and haven't lost anything more.  I have an appointment tomorrow night at 5pm with a Personal Trainer at the gym and I am hoping that will jump start things again.

Last night I went to see a favorite band of mine.  I was able to dance the whole night without feeling tired or overly hot, or having my feet and ankles hurt.  That was nice for a change.  It's an absolutely gorgeous day today so I think I am going to get outside and enjoy it instead of being the lazy bum I would really love to be today.  It's been awhile since I got home at 2am and I'm kind of fighting off a sore throat so I wouldn't mind being a complete slacker today, but I don't want to waste the sunshine.

Yesterday I did a Costco run and I bought a few things that were high in protein that I can enjoy.  I really have to get more serious about getting 60g of protein in per day.  I eat protein with every meal but I must admit that I've been lazy about counting the grams and I don't think I've been getting 60.  I did buy some greek yogurt frozen bars that have 10 grams of protein and are low in sugar.  I also bought some breakfast bars that are 15 g of protein and only 3g of sugar.  They are peanut butter/chocolate, but I'm not that crazy about them.  They kind of have a weird aftertaste, but I guess I am just going to have to deal.  It's so weird to me still how nothing food-wise really rings my bell anymore.  I did have some chile lime skirt steak the other night.  I had the tiniest piece but it tasted fantastic.  I guess I got so excited that I either ate it too fast or took too big of bites and of course, it got stuck.  I spent about 30 minutes in total misery.  The pain and the panic when something gets stuck is not something I would wish on anyone.  It's awful.  I tried everything.  I finally had to throw up as much as I could and wait for the rest to go down.  It's really my own fault.  I know better. Another lesson learned the hard way.

A special shout out to all of you who continue to show support and encouragement as I navigate my way through this new lifestyle.  I am 9 lbs away from my next goal.  Onward and Upward....