Time flies when you're having fun....

Wow.  I just realized today that it's been a very long time since I've updated this blog.  I'm not really sure why that is because a lot has happened.  The last time I wrote, I was at a weight loss of 70 lbs and was so thrilled that I was able to fit into a size 14.

Now...I have lost a total of 130lbs in a little over two years and I wear a size 6.  I NEVER thought I would ever see a size 6.  In fact, it still seems weird to me even though I've been this size for about a year now.

In January, I marked the 2 year "Surgiversary" and I've definitely noticed that maintaining the weight takes a little more diligence and effort than it did previously.  I've discovered that if I weigh myself every morning and keep conscious track of my calorie intake, I can keep a better handle on things.

The only regret I have is how the decision to have this surgery has affected certain relationships in my life.  More detail on this to come at a later time, but suffice to say that I have lost people who have left a huge hole in my heart. 

They say the two year mark is when the "honeymoon's over".  So far, I'm still honeymooning.

I don't plan to ever fall out of love with the new me.

Maybe it will be cathartic for me to write here again.  Until next time.  Soon.  Really.
xoxo

70pounds-HairLoss-ClosetPurge

Hi there.  I haven't forgotten about you, faithful blog followers.  Time has simply continued to elude me and even now, I only have a couple minutes but wanted to give you a quick update.

• I've lost a total of 70lbs!  I honestly cannot even comprehend that number.  55lbs to go to goal.
• I am losing hair at an alarming rate.  I was told to expect this around the 4 month mark, but I honestly was not at all prepared.  Thank goodness I have always had a full head of thick, healthy hair.  I can't imagine how I would deal with this otherwise.  I have been taking Biotin supplements and today I purchased some Nioxin shampoo/conditioner.  I hope this stops soon.
• I have been buying clothes, shoes and accessories like it's my mother truckin' JOB!  I can't help myself.  It's SO.MUCH.FUN to get dressed when things FIT! (and look halfway decent)  Because of this, I decided to purge my closet of everything that was a Plus Size or any number with an "X" behind it!  This was surprisingly emotional.  I had a hard time getting rid of some things and I don't exactly know why.  I did it anyway because I am most certainly not.going.back!
• I am strongly considering getting botox in my fore(FIVE)head and between my eyebrows.  I am so expressive with my eyes and when I laugh that I have deeper lines than I am comfortable with and now that I actually give a crap about my appearance, I am not going to look older than need be.  Vain?  Hell yeah.  I feel like it's no different than getting my nails done, hair colored, etc.  Just trying to make the best of what I've been given.
• Loving Chipotle for lunch these days.  I get one little taco with nothing but pinto beans, cheese and meat (protein, protein, protein)  So good and cheap too! 
• Summer seems to have arrived here in Northern CA and soon I will be going to Vegas for a girls getaway.  BATHING SUIT!  Not as scary a proposition as it used to be, but still....*shiver*
• This blog isn't the only thing that was neglected in April.  I also neglected the gym.  I need to get my ass back there A.S.A.P.
• I also want to write about how people kind of treat me differently lately but I'm out of time....

Soon, my pretties.  :)

I'm a size WHAT??

THE SHOES!!!  You want to sleep with them too!  ADMIT IT!!

The dress I ended up buying.

I woke up this morning thinking yesterday must surely have been a dream.  It was an exciting day for our family as my Sister, Tara had her first fitting for her wedding dress.  This will be Tara's first wedding and we have all waited a long time for this day.  She is engaged to a wonderful man who treats her and my Niece, Leeann like gold and we couldn't be more thrilled for all of them.  Tara has decided against having a traditional wedding party so I wasn't planning to try on any dresses as I am not in the wedding.  All of us went to the Bridal store to see Tara in her gorgeous gown.  My Mom, my Sister In Law, Yanci, Leeann, Morgan and I.  When Tara was finished we started looking around for a dress for Leeann when I came across a dress that I liked.  The sample dress was a size 14.  I thought I was probably a size 16 but I was wearing size 18 jeans that were admittedly too big even thought I bought them only a few weeks ago.  I figured I would try on the 14, and it wouldn't zip up but we could kind of get an idea.  Morgan helped me into the dress and I kept saying, "Don't force the zipper!  It will rip!"  So, she didn't.  She just zipped it half way up and I walked out and looked in the mirror.  Then, the salesgirl came over to ask how we were doing.  I said I liked the dress but it was hard to tell because it wasn't my size.  She walked behind me and zipped it right up and said, "You're definitely a 14!"  I still wasn't convinced.  I said, "No, I think this dress must just run big."  Next thing I knew, she was grabbing me another dress in a size 14 and a bra, shoes, and jewelry.  A couple minutes later she was twisting my hair into an up do and to my absolute shock and amazement the second dress also fit.  WHAT KIND OF MAGIC TRICKERY WAS THIS?!?!?!?   I am a size 14?!?!?  I skipped right over size 16 and I am a size 14!!  There are still 5 months until the wedding so I ordered the dress in a size 12 and was told they can alter it down another 2 sizes if need be.  That would make me a size EIGHT.  I cannot even fathom that.  If someone tells me I am a size 8, I might hump them right in the middle of the store.  I bought the dress, the shoes and the bra and it came to about $200 for everything, which wasn't bad.

Confession:  I probably would have bought it no matter what the price was because I felt like it made me look skinny and my Mom's jaw was literally on the floor when she saw me.  My Niece kept looking at me dumbfounded and saying, "Auntie Deana...you seem so SMALL AND TINY!"  Note to self:  Keep that kid around!!!!  I really loved the first dress but the bra options weren't great with it.  My friend, Alison commented on my Facebook that God's gift to me through all this was allowing me to keep "the girls" despite the weight loss.  I don't know how much of a gift that is.  I am STILL a "D" cup and I would really like to be a full "C".  The second dress looked great with the strapless bra and I am IN LOVE with my shoes.  Like, I want to sleep with them.  (Not like THAT, sicko!)  They are so gorgeous, I feel like a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills when I wear them.  (But not Kim because she is crazycakes, and not Taylor because her HUGE lips bug the shit out of me.  Maybe Lisa or Adrienne.  Or Kyle, because she has a hot husband...but I digress)  Being able to wear sexy shoes is so thrilling for me because I could hardly even buy shoes before.  I felt like every shoe I put on made my feet look like sausages.  It was horrendous.  Now...I can buy any shoes and it's the MOST exciting thing ever.  My wallet may not find this news to be so exciting, however.

Okay, so here are some pics!  COMMENT, would ya?

For reference, the day I left for surgery THREE MONTHS AGO

The first dress !!!  63lbs down

Onederland

Well, I'd like to say I am blogging to you from my yacht in the South of France, but alas, I did not win the Mega-Millions.  I heard on the news that my odds were better to be attacked and murdered by a vending machine!!  I am not certain how I feel about that.  It's been 3 months today since my surgery and I can't believe how good it feels to see a number "1" as the first number on the scale.  I feel like it took me forever to get here but in reality it hasn't taken long at all.  The best feeling is that I am half way to my goal weight!!  Sometimes I feel like the little engine that could, just chugging along.

I've heard most people advise not to weigh yourself every day, but I do.  Every.single.day.  I get out of bed, pee, take off my jewelry, hair ties, and anything else that might weigh a fraction of an ounce and step on.  There have definitely been days that the scale hasn't moved, but I don't let that frustrate me.  I know it will.  I just like to know when it does. 

I was warned by my surgeon and others that I would experience some hair loss in about month 4, but it has started already and I recently started taking a Biotin supplement that is supposed to help.  The jury is still out.  On a positive tip, my BMI was 49 at my heaviest weight in October and today it is 36.5.  I'm shooting for under 25.

I did a Zumba class on Saturday morning.  The last time I tried Zumba I was 60lbs heavier and please let the record show that I did not have to call 911 as I thought I might have to do last time.  It was fun, but I really don't think they are going to be calling me to do "Dancing with the Stars" anytime soon.  My hips don't lie, people.

Total weight loss to date:  60.4 lbs.   Booyah!

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words....

Sometimes I wish I had taken more photos before the surgery.  I was so humiliated every time I would see a photo of myself, I would either delete, destroy or crop the hell out of it before I allowed it to exist in this world.  Right before the surgery I realized I would want to have some before/after shots so I allowed a few to be taken.  The difference is amazing to me.  I don't even feel like that same person.  Check it:

Another shot of me before I left for the Hospital the morning of surgery

This was taken as I left for the hospital 01-03-2012.  I had already lost 15lbs at this point.

My Sister and I immediately following the surgery.  Look how huge and swollen my face is!

Last week during my workout.  56lbs down. 03-24-2012

Obviously I haven't lost any weight in my boobs!  JEEZ!

Not the most flattering shot of my stomach but I definitely can see a difference in my legs.
03-26-2012

Thanks for sticking with me on this crazy journey.  Much more to come!
xoxoxoxox

Smoke and Mirrors

So much to say and not much time to say it.  The past few days have been a whirlwind.  Thursday I had my follow up appointment with my surgeon.  My weight was down 8lbs from the last visit last month.  He was pleased with my overall progress and my total weight loss of close to 60lbs.  I don't have to go back now until June.    On the way back from the appointment, my Mom and I decided to stop at the mall and she probably felt sorry for me in my "clown pants" so she bought me a couple pair of jeans, several shirts and a workout outfit.  I don't know why I've been putting off buying clothes.  I guess one reason is because I didn't want to spend $60 on a pair of pants I was only going to be able to wear for a month.  Luckily, we went to Forever 21 and their prices are SO reasonable.  I will definitely be doing a lot of shopping there until I get to my maintenence weight.  My jeans are super cute and they were only $13.00!  Crazy.

My Mom was cute though because she kept bringing me things to try on that were DEFINITELY not my size.  I kept saying, "Mom, I don't take that size!" and she would say, "I think it will fit.  Just try it on.  You look so TINY now!"  Smoke and mirrors, Mom.  Smoke and mirrors.  I've gotta admit though, it's pretty cool (and very foreign) to be referred to by anyone as "tiny"!!  I do realize that this particular compliment came from my Mom, and let's face it, I am no where near tiny...but still!

Thursday night was, for lack of a better term, a cluster-fuck.  I only got about 2-3 hours of sleep for reasons not necessary to go into here, but suffice to say that I looked (and felt) like I had been run over by a semi when I came to work on Friday.  My Boss was out of town so I needed to literally "look alive" and get things done.  Thankfully, the day was productive and I was able to get through it.  We had dinner plans with close friends that evening and I wasn't about to reschedule as we had planned it over a month ago, but I was looking very forward to calling it an early night and hitting my tempurpedic pillow.  Alas, best laid plans sometimes go awry and who was I to argue when my BFF called with free box seats to the Lady Antebellum/Darius Rucker show that night in San Jose.  We had an early dinner with our friends, then Terry picked me up about 7:45 and we drove to San Jose where we enjoyed premium parking and our own luxury penthouse suite.  The concert was good and when my head finally hit the pillow at about 1:00am, I thought I had died and gone to heaven....until 8:30am came in what seemed like a milisecond and I was up again to meet Terry at the gym.  We worked out for about an hour, I came home to shower and was back out the door to head to Morgan Hill to celebrate my Niece's eleventh Birthday.  My Sister made an amazing lunch/dinner.  Parmesan chicken, pesto ravioli, salad, garlic bread, cupcakes (!)  I ate a tiny bit of everything and a super tiny bite of a cupcake.  So far I don't seem to have a problem with sugar if I only eat one bite of whatever it is.  Like one M & M, for example.  Who eats ONE M & M?!?!  ME, that's who!  And let me tell you, when you don't eat sugar anymore one M & M is quite the delicacy! 

After we left my Sister's, I was home for about 2.2 seconds before I was off again to pick up Terry and head to the Crows Nest to celebrate the Birthday of the lovely Leilani.  Our friends, the Billy Martini Band were performing that night and it's always a good time.  I saw a lot of people who I haven't seen in awhile.  It's always nice when people notice the weight loss and I really appreciated the compliments.  I was feeling good that night (in clothes that actually fit..bonus!)  Needless to say it was another late night.  It's difficult when I am at a bar or in a party atmosphere to stick to drinking water only.  I'm not a big alcohol drinker, but sometimes I just kind of want to have something else besides water.  Even juice, but I didn't dare because of the sugar content.  I can't have anything carbonated, so diet soda, or even pellegrino is out.  I got over it, but it is one thing I miss.  I slept like a baby Saturday night and didn't wake up once until about 9:30 Sunday morning. 

Yesterday, I learned some upsetting news about a friend of mine that I met at my Support Group a few months ago.  He is having some health issues and Jason, if you're reading I just want you to know that I am saying a prayer for you to have a good outcome and back to 100% soon. 

I think I need a weekend to recover from my weekend!  Oh, and I am STILL 2.8 pounds away from ONEderland.  C'mon scale...cut me a break, would ya??

Weigh to go....(before and after pics)

Last night I wrote a highly entertaining (if I do say so myself) and lengthy blog post, complete with loads of before/after pics and as luck would have it, my computer decided to freeze and shut down in the middle of it all.  Bother.  So, I am going to give this another try:

First, some news:  I let the lovely Melissa cut bangs for me.  I was resistant to bangs for the longest time because I think they make me look like I'm in 3rd grade.  After surgery, I started noticing that the skin on my face, which has always been, for lack of a better word, "plump", was suddenly quite loose.  Some mornings I would look in the mirror and think "Sweet Mother of Pearl! Where did those LINES come from??"  Especially in my forehead!!  Exhibit A:

See the wrinkles?  ACK!  I mean, c'mon!  I know I am on the eve of the "Silver Anniversary of my 21st Birthday" but this is ridiculous!  Until I work up the nerve to get some botox, wrinkles are the question and BANGS ARE THE ANSWER!!! 

In other news, I have not worn my original wedding ring for about 10 years for a multitude of reasons.  Yesterday, at work we were discussing wedding rings, so I dug mine out and was completely shocked to see that it fit.  It hasn't fit in years!  Not only that...it's actually loose.  Exhibit B:  (notice the bangs!)

I am FIVE lbs away from ONEderland.  I really want to reach this goal by next Thursday, since it's my next checkup with my Doc.  I plan to step up the workouts this week and I think I can get there.  I leave you with a VERY embarrassing and scary BEFORE pic (this is big for me to even post this now...because I am absolutely mortified that I ever allowed myself to look like this)   Exhibit C & D:

And, here is the most recent full length pic of me taken this week.  55lbs down.  When I look at the difference in pics, I can't even believe I am that same person.  What an amazing ride this is.  I am so grateful that I have been given this opportunity.  Exhibit E: