Thank the Lord Baby Jesus that my wise and all knowing Doctor understands what I am going thru and said that after checking my levels, I can skip the iron for now and the calcium too. I can take the B12 every other day because my B12 levels are actually high. I know this will only be temporary until I can get the nausea under control but I am thrilled to have this little reprieve. I do have to take Thiamin (sp?) which is essentially B1 but it is a pill I can swallow. I also have to take a prescription prilosec (again in a swallowable pill form, thankfully) and a stool softener for obvious reasons of not getting enough fiber. Ouch. Along with all that I take two chewable multivitamins and a vitamin D. Before the surgery I took absolutely no medications which is actually a miracle considering how heavy I was. It is very odd to me to have this whole counter full of meds now. I know they are essential though so I will follow Doctors orders and do as I am told.
They gave me a shot in the ass yesterday too. It was Thiamin and it hurt like HELL. I am a trooper when it comes to shots usually. I previously mentioned that in the hospital I was getting shots in the stomach of Heprin every few hours. No problem. But that shot yesterday burned so bad. It actually made me cry. It burned for a long time afterward too. No bueno.
The Doc thinks I am losing weight just a little too fast. I've lost a total of 41 lbs. 26 of those in one month. When you lose the weight too quickly you also lose muscle and the skin can't really have time to catch up. For the next 4 weeks he wants me to eat some things that are a little higher in calories. Like nuts, toast, etc. I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around eating bread when I've been staying away from it for months. He even said I could have pasta. I thought that would thrill me but it scares me in a weird way. I know it's just a mental thing because 4-5 bites of pasta (which is really all I eat) isn't going to break me but so much of the food portion is mental for me. I have to think on this. I definitely don't want to lose muscle and I want my skin to have time to catch up to the weight loss, so I need to keep that in mind and try to get out of my head a bit.
I changed my hair color last night. I went back to my natural dark brown. Love it. It definitely suits my eyes and skin tone much better. I recently started getting my nails done again after many years too. It feels good to care about how I look. For several years now I felt so bad about my body that I just really didn't give a shit sometimes. Now, I look forward to getting dressed and seeing what will (or won't) fit. Only this time if something doesn't fit, it's not because it's too small. It's because it's too big. Weird.
I had a conversation last night with someone who is a friend. She is reading the blog and strongly considering the surgery. I know I write a lot in here about some of my frustrations or struggles but I hope that people realize that I do not regret my decision for one second. It is the best thing I have ever done for myself. The results are paying off already and every day is a thrill for me when people comment or notice that I look and feel (overall) so much better. This was major surgery and I think I have been very fortunate to have not had any major complications but it is not always easy. As I said before though...it is definitely worth it.
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