Day 4: A New Norm

It's almost 4am, 4 days post op and here I am unable to sleep because of the thoughts swirling around in my head, itching to get out on the page.  I had Roux-en-y Gastric Bypass surgery on 1-03-12.  I felt like I was very prepared for this surgery and I did a lot of research, reading books, websites, support groups, etc.  However, there were definitely some aspects of this process that have been unexpected.  Let me back up:

I started looking into Weight loss surgery as an option on October 1, 2011.  I had recently been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea and I had also started having some nerve pain, which led me to seek the advice of a neurologist.  The neurologist concluded that I was carrying around too much weight, which was causing pressure on some of my nerves and causing the pain.  She suggested I try losing weight and the pain would disappear.  As happy as I was that it wasn't something more serious, I was also defeated because I KNEW I needed to lose weight.  I just hadn't been successful at anything I had tried, and believe me I had tried it all.  NutriSystem, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, A Nutritionist, A Personal Trainer, The Cabbage Soup diet, Phen-phen, Redux, Slimfast, Atkins, etc, etc.  I would usually lose around 20 lbs or so and then hit a wall.  Ultimately, I would give up out of frustration and the merry go round would start again.  Only this time I would have gained back all I lost plus some.

I wasn't heavy my whole life but I've always considered myself somewhat of a thicker body type.  Always.  Even when I was a size 3 in Junior High.  Even when I carried 130 lbs on my 5'2" frame at age 25.  Little did I realize that 20 years later, I would be carrying much, much more than 130lbs and that 130lbs would actually be my goal weight.

I don't consider myself to be a binge eater.  I also never really considered myself to be a food addict, but I don't think you can get to the weight I was without having some form of addiction.  I am not your classic overweight eater though.  Whenever I watch shows like "The Biggest Loser" and they have people on there that talk about their "before" habits I am always amazed.  I am not really a fast food person.  I very rarely drink alcohol and could give that up in a heartbeat, I am not really a dessert person.  I don't eat 3 BigMacs in my closet and wash it down with a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi,  in fact, I don't drink soft drinks very often and when I do, it's always diet.  (Since my surgery, I won't ever drink soft drinks again..and that is kind of odd to me)  I am more of a savory eater than a sweet eater.  I am a good Italian girl who likes her pasta.  I like cheese, but I also love chicken, fish, beef and almost every vegetable.  In fact, I am obsessed with Red Bell Peppers and I would rather have a roasted pepper than ice cream.

So, that is a very small portion of the backstory.  I went to my first meeting to look into the Lap Band procedure on Oct 1st.  My BFF went with me.  It was definitely a process.  First, they weighed me and they told me not to take off my shoes, jacket or purse.  They wanted to get me at my highest weight.  I thought that was a little weird.  I guess maybe they were doing it for insurance purposes since you have to be a certain BMI to get insurance approval or something.  Still, it was unsettling.  Next, I filled out paperwork for a solid hour.  No joke.  A.Solid.Hour.  I felt like I was literally signing my life away.  I wasn't even sure I wanted to have ANY procedure yet and still they insisted I sign everything.  That should have been an indicator to me that I wasn't in the right place.  I didn't leave however.  I signed all they asked and I waited.  I looked around me and there were maybe 12 other people doing the same as me.  I wondered if we were all here for the same reason because honestly most of the people didn't look to be as overweight as I was.  Certainly not overweight enough to be considering something so drastic.  Evidently, I was wrong because I later found out that they were all there for the same reason: Bariatric surgery.  We were all sitting in what appeared to be a Doctors office waiting room.  Soon, a nice looking man in a white lab coat came out to give us some information and address our questions.  After, an Insurance lady addressed the group.  Lastly, a Dietician spoke.  After that, we were called one on one to a room and each of the Holy Trinity came to speak to us individually. Looking back now and knowing what I know, I am amazed at how easy they made the whole thing sound.  Like it was an absolute piece of cake.  Never were any of the potential complications discussed and it almost seemed like this magic bullet that unlocked the whole mystery of weight loss.  During that time I realized that the man in the white coat, who I naturally assumed was the surgeon was only a physician's assistant.  That put me off some.  I wanted to speak to the actual Doctor.  After spending a good 3 hours in total, we were urged to immediately set up an appointment for pre-requisite procedures and sent home.  Although I was somewhat encouraged by what seemed to be a potential answer for me as far as weight loss went, I was also troubled.  I wasn't sure why and I wasn't even identifying what I was feeling as troubled.  I just came home, laid down on my bed and cried.  I didn't know why.  It all just felt very overwhelming.

A week later, a family friend who had the Roux en Y surgery encouraged me to go to another orientation with her surgeon.  She could not say enough about him and knowing her as I do I know she is a woman who definitely does her homework.  Exactly a week later, I attended my second orientation and I was blown away by how different it was.  There were probably about 45 people there.  It was held in a big conference room with a power point presentation and he definitely did not sugar coat things.  All of the potential complications were covered as well as the very high percentage of people who gain it all back a year or two after their surgery.  Instead of scaring me, this information actually helped me.  I was glad to know this was certainly not a magic bullet but a tool to assist someone in getting their weight off quickly.  Maintenance was most likely going to be a challenge, but it was a challenge that I felt I could take on.  I knew after that hour that Dr Vierra would be my surgeon and I started the process immediately to move forward.

During my first office visit consult with Dr Vierra we discussed all three options of Bariatric Surgery that he performs:  The Roux en Y, the Gastric Sleeve and the Lap Band.  Luckily, I was a good candidate for all three surgeries, so I could choose which of the surgeries I would prefer and after talking to a lot of people who had the surgery I chose the Roux en Y rather than the Lap Band because I felt it would give me a greater amount of weight loss.  My BMI when  I started was 49.  My goal is to have my BMI be under 25, which would be considered normal and not overweight.  Dr Vierra asked me to attempt to lose 10% of my body weight prior to surgery.

My next assignments were to complete all of my Pre Op appointments.  I needed a Psych evaluation, a one hour appointment with a Nutritionist, Lab work, and an EKG.  I did all of that in one day.  Next, I just had to wait for my Insurance Authorization which takes 4-6 weeks.  My Insurance paid 90% of the costs associated with the surgery.  The Insurance Authorization came through right around Thanksgiving.  At that point, I was given my surgery date:  January 3rd.  Next, I needed to set one more appointment with the Surgeon's office to see how much weight I had lost pre surgery and to go over all the before and after surgery instructions.  My appointment was set for December 23rd and I was so nervous to get on the scale.  I knew I had been watching what I ate, but I also knew how easy it was to gain weight without knowing it.  I was worried that if I gained weight rather than lose weight since my last office visit that Dr Vierra would postpone my surgery thinking I wasn't ready or committed.  To my relief, when I stepped on the scale, it was revealed that I had lost 14 lbs.  I didn't quite make my 10% goal, but the Doctor was still satisfied and I was happy.

Getting tired now...more tomorrow...